Cruz's Birth Story

Experiencing pregnancy is such a blessing. No matter how sick, exhausted, and miserable I got...it really is an indescribable experience. I don't take it for granted. I feel so lucky to be able to carry my little babies for 9 beautiful sweaty painful months. 

I won't lie. I'm definitely not one of those majestic unicorn prego babes. I get stretch marks, and lots of them. I'm sick almost to the end of each pregnancy. I waddle...BAD. Basically I've experienced most of the unpleasantries that come with growing little humans inside your body. For some reason, I still enjoy being pregnant and it's all so worth it!

Carrying Cruz for 42 weeks, almost drove me bonkers. The last two weeks of it were total and complete torture. Everyday I thought it would happen, and then it didn't. I had so many braxton hicks contractions that would trick me into thinking I was finally going into labor, and then they would stop. It was seriously obnoxious. I tried EVERYTHING to get my labor started and NOTHING worked.  

Monday, November 7th at 1am, I started to have contractions. I was so used to them going absolutely nowhere, that I waited until 6am to let anyone know that I thought it might be something. By 6 am my contractions where 4 mins apart and getting painfully strong. So we prepared to make the drive from Moab, UT to Grand Junction, CO. It's an hour and a half drive, so as you can imagine, I was pretty uncomfortable. Matt was kind enough to play my birth playlist, which consisted of my favorite song to get through contractions with, Breath by Anna Nalick. It's classic. I love it. I played it a billion times. "Just breath..."

As soon as we pulled into town, we went straight to my midwifes office to see how close I was to going into labor. We were shocked when she told me I was only 2 1/2 cm dilated. Seriously, like what the hell. I was in so much pain and my contractions were close enough together, that I for sure thought I should have been farther along. She suggested we go shopping and grab some lunch and then come back and see how my progress was going. So we did just that. We went shopping and every four minutes people would stare at me as I hung from Matt's neck and moaned in pain. It was slightly embarrassing but mostly just incredibly painful. When we went back to see my midwife, I had progressed to only a 3! Yeah, I was annoyed. We decided to head to the hospital at that point because I was over going through labor in public places.

If you're familiar with Dodger's birth story, then you know it ended in an emergency c section. So because my goal for Cruz's birth was all natural, I was considered a VBAC. Which meant I couldn't leave my bed (they let me walk around for a bit) and they had to monitor me the entire time. It totally sucked. I swear the bed I was laying on was made of concrete and meant to slowly torture me. A total of 24 hrs of labor later, I was only dilated to a 5. Yeah you read that right. It was insanity. My midwife said I needed to get things going faster because my risk of needing a c section was getting higher and higher and I needed to progress quicker. So the decision was made to start me on Pitocin. I was adamant about going as natural as I could for as long as I could, so I made the decision to not have an epidural. Two hours later and a total of 26 hours in labor, I broke down when they told me I was only at 5 1/2 cm. My nurse came in and convinced me to just get the damn epidural so I could rest up for delivery. Thank the sweet heavens I did, because I was physically and mentally exhausted. I can't believe I waited so long to get the amazing relief of an epidural. I'm proud of myself for trying for so long, but I also can't believe I didn't just get it sooner! They loaded me up with more pitocin, and by morning I was at 7 cm. I seriously have the most annoying body ever. At that point even nurses were shocked I hadn't had my baby yet. It was such a joke, and not the funny kind. Okay, it was a little funny. My mother in law and I kept laughing that I was Rachel off of friends...you know....the episode where she's in labor and women left and right are having their babies before her. If you don't know what episode I am referring to, then we can't be friends. 

At 4pm Tuesday November 8th, we finally got the good news that it was almost time to push! Oh my gosh was it such a relief to hear that. I was so ready to meet my little man. Matt held my leg up, a nurse held my other one, and my sister in law got the camera ready to capture every moment. About 20 minutes of pushing, gasping for breath, and laughing between contractions, there he came. The umbilical cord was wrapped around him as he came out, but my midwife quickly untangled him and handed him over to Matt to place on my chest. It was a PERFECT moment. Seriously indescribable. Everything I had wanted the birth to be, it was. We couldn't stop smiling. Cruz immediately wanted to latch on and nurse, and boy was he a strong sucker. He caught me so off guard, we just laughed as he sucked as hard as he could. One second we were as happy as could be, and the next second the nurse was snatching him away from me and sounding the alarm for more nurses and doctors. People came rushing into our room and started trying to revive our baby. He wasn't breathing. He was pale and lifeless. Matt and I were just in complete shock with tears running down our faces and we held hands as they huddled around our new baby. My nurse held my other hand so tight as we waited for someone to tells us what was happening and if he was okay. It felt like time stood still. I remember looking at my sister across the room seeing her tears fall from her face. I just couldn't believe how perfect everything had just been seconds ago and now my worst fear was coming to life. My baby not breathing. Finally, things started to feel calmer in our room and my midwife assured me he was going to be okay. 

I don't even have words for all the emotions we were feeling. They were able to get him to start breathing, but told me they'd need to move him to NICU. I couldn't help but just cry. All I wanted to do was hold my baby and have him with me. I wasn't able to see Dodger until he was 2 days old and it killed me not to be with him. I truly didn't want the same thing to happen with Cruz. I sucked it up and watched them wheel him away from me. Matt went with him up to the NICU and I followed as soon as I could. Because of a few complications, we ended up spending 5 days at the hospital before we were finally released on Friday to go home. Such a relief to finally be able to leave that concrete bed and to have a happy healthy boy coming home with us. 

Even with 36 hours of labor, 5 days at the hospital, me getting the flu the day after I gave birth, Cruz's complications, it was all worth it. Seriously, the five minutes of pure joy when he entered the world made everything so incredibly worth it. He came out at 9lbs 6 oz and 22 inches long. He was one big baby! I love every fluffy inch of him. 

Cruz has been colicky since day one, and now 3 months later he has finally calmed down. Thank goodness! I feel like I haven't slept since he was born, so obviously time has gone by super slow for me and also super fast. It's hard to explain haha Im exhausted. But he's also the sweetest little boy. Huge smiles and he coo's and laughs all the time. He also nurses like a champ! He's definitely kept up his weight! He's in the 99% for height and weight. Apparently my milk must be pure fat. He loves it. 

Dodger is the best big brother ever! Seriously, he loves Cruz so much. It's adorable. Having 2 boys is absolutely amazing and I feel so honored to be the mommy to two beautiful little boys.